10. Body Reflects Mind

We call that our feelings and emotions

Last time I said that we can assess our basic human tools, and ask some questions about them. Some of these tools have certain tendencies or limitations which we can keep track of. Maybe we'll find work-arounds for the limitations and find use for some other of these tendencies.

1. People talk about emotions as an independent factor that impinges on our human instrument. I think instrument is a good way to say human being, in that it is the vehicle we inhabit and use. I am not saying that this body/mind/other is us, nor that we are separate from, nor above it either. It's an open proposition and we're gathering evidence.

So with that old definition of emotion as an independent force, we have to deal-with it. It is another facet that is out of our control. So often we try suppression, or we just act-out our anger, and then try to patch up, (or justify), all the trouble we get into.

2. First of all we should define some terms. People say "you hurt my feelings". Let's change that to, "you triggered my emotions". Of course it is always me that triggers myself, because of how I define what I expect, what I will accept, and what I will reject. The sliding scale of agree / disagree can be wide and the fed-up trigger-point can get so short that it is explosive.

Others say that emotions are the explosive part, like anger, impatience or disgust, and feelings are the underlying moods like loneliness, longing and grief. That could be useful, but I am going to define all of them as emotion. And feeling is just the pure bodily sensation, a change in muscle tone. It is just so you can understand how I am handling it.

3. My method is not to prove anything that I am presenting with various modes of scientific thought, nor disprove anything by finding a group of exceptions. For me it is enough to demonstrate what I say, in various and ever more numerous scenarios. If something will prove useful in most of our circumstances, why not engage with it, experiment with it, to find really how transforming it could be? (By the way, transformation is not a magic nor a spiritual word.) The way I use it, it just means - it makes a difference in our "real life", - it changes something.

4. You can say Emotions might come from anywhere??? I am not talking about that. I am pointing to the linkage between thoughts (both conscious and unconscious), and a bodily contraction, (or opening), I feel something. Another idea - I feel something else. (Please read carefully, sometimes I say contraction and sometimes I am explaining a contradiction. Speed readers beware. Thanks)

Really it is not the pure thought that creates ripples in your body. It is the difference between your preconceived idea of how it should be, and you interpreted perception of how it is actually appearing in your personal circumstances. That difference is either a disappointment, if it is far off, or a satisfaction if your expectations are being fulfilled.

This can lead to all kinds of false stories about what-is, (fake-news), to align with your preconceived beliefs, to keep these contractions under control. It is seemingly easier to manipulate the perception of what is happening, than to change your expectations to coincide with the reality part. This is such a true desire in so many people that it is successfully used in world-wide narratives to manipulate populations. But finally the expectations have to come-around and correspond to what becomes so obvious.

Repeat: Feeling is a bodily contraction caused by the contradiction between your desired expectations and your take on current reality. Emotion is the interpretation of that feeling (of that contraction). Then there may be a hair trigger to it all, depending on your fed-up factor. Fed-up is a kind of measure on you arrogance. "I won't take this anymore", (as if you had any power?)

5. There is a very simple conclusion about managing this contradiction. You can try, but it is very difficult to change the other, or change the world. But you are in total control of creating your own expectations. For some reason most people go for the impossible option and totally ignore the obvious choice. ("I'll never give up my standards". My world will be teetering if I do.)

So from that unfolds the whole industry of emotional management, and all the damage that they rain down on the others, plus untold self-damage inflicted with a vacuous grin.

Stated in another way: Absolutely nothing in your outer circumstances can touch your state of mind, your equanimity, nor your emotional balance. It is only your made-up internal standards of what you want to see in the world, that is in contradiction with "what-is", that destroys you.

Some say that I am exaggerating as if you can re-story every expectation. I don’t have to say “every”. But surely it works so many times, that it is a worthwhile endeavor.

You can take it from there.

6. Actually, the feelings produced in the body, and noticing that contraction, is the basis for our method of monitoring our story, our self-talk and our state of well-being. We'll talk about this in detail later. But here's a synopsis:

First of all, a bodily contraction is the sign-post that something in our thoughts is out of sync in our life. That's when we start to investigate, what am I telling myself right now? I think that it is easy enough to find that "sore-spot".

(I have to acknowledge that some people are so tight (already contracted all over), that they cannot notice any subtle difference. Also, others are so into "medication", caffeine, alcohol, prescription or recreational drugs, maybe even extreme sports, that they have blocked out all normal feeling.)

Then we examine that story. Is it true? Could it be any different? We mentally list a series of possible options. The examination is done while still in contact with the feeling. It is not a disconnect to get rid of the sore-spot as fast as possible. Here it is often helpful to get outside suggestions of what could be an alternate story. These suggestions can come within a small group that is focused somebody's story, taking turns in the spotlight.

You try the alternate stories on for size, and monitor the contraction/feeling/emotion. If one of those alternates seems plausible to you, if you don't outright reject it, the feeling will change in an instant. If you are open to be a different person, if it is really tiring to run the same drama over and over again, if you don't have myriad reasons why it must be how you have always done it, maybe you can choose it. Maybe it will have to be reinforced at a later date, but for the most part you have overcome one more stupidity. You have jettisoned an energy drain.

Keep up the good work. And notice that you are more powerful on many of your ongoing endeavors.

There is a lot more to say about this, but that's an overview.

Thank you for being here.